Review: Predators

How do you rate big dumb summer movies? Sometimes they can be clever, like the first Iron Man movie -- sometimes all you want is for them to entertain you without being annoying. Predators isn't fresh or new and it isn't even memorable, but on the other hand, you can enjoy some suspenseful scenes and even a few explosions without feeling bored or annoyed. In terms of summer blockbuster scale, that counts for a lot. You don't even have to know anything about the previous Predator movies -- in fact, maybe it's best if you don't.

Predators is so predictable that you can actually recite along with the dialogue, knowing exactly what the characters will say, and then feel a small sense of pride and accomplishment at having got it right. I made a bet with myself on the time and victim of the first death and was off by only about two minutes. The problem with having a number of character actors and little-known actors among well-known stars is that the audience has a pretty good idea of who's going to survive at least the first hour of the movie.

The characters don't reveal their names, which is appropriate because they are a collection of stereotypes and ass-kicking archetypes from the action-film genre. We've got the Tough Reluctant Leader (Adrien Brody), the Tough Military Chick (Alice Braga), the Mexican You Don't F*** With (Danny Trejo, natch), Silent Yakuza, Wise-Ass Serial Killer ... you get the idea. Oh, and one meek and seemingly out-of-place Doctor (Topher Grace). They each find themselves suddenly parachuting into an unfamiliar jungle, and after a few scuffles, all band together to find out what's going on.

And we have the Predators, alien creatures whom you might remember from the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger film. There appear to be multiple kinds of Predators in this film, which seems needlessly confusing, and one wonders if it's that way in order to give the humans a few adversaries close to their own size to fight, or to help facilitate a later plot point.

Laurence Fishburne makes an all-too-brief appearance, practically stealing the movie for a little while, until his character acts so illogically that suddenly he's less of a character and more of a plot device. The section of the movie that centered around him reminded me of producer Robert Rodriguez's comments that with Planet Terror, he could cut out "the boring middle part" that often drags down action and genre movies -- perhaps he should have suggested this move to Predators director Nimrod Antal. Rodriguez is not credited as a writer on this film -- although he wrote a Predators sequel back in the 1990s -- a lot of the plot structure reminded me of Planet Terror as well as From Dusk Til Dawn.

I would have liked at least one surprising twist, myself -- and not the kind where, after I have happily scribbed a note  that "At least Braga doesn't scream," she does so, although admittedly it was more of an asexual yell. The one plot twist near the film's end was frankly feeble and unsurprising.

On the other hand, despite the fact that the movie was relentlessly formulaic, even to the score, Predators was able to create and maintain suspenseful scenes and capture my attention. The pacing is generally good, the actors add some polish to their musty old archetypes, and the plot holes are not generally noticeable while you're watching the film. (If Character X has been in the jungle a long time, why is his hair so short and well-cut? And if it hasn't been a long time, why does he look fairly out of shape? Best not to think about it.)

Predators is a fine choice for escaping the heat in a chilly theater with a cold drink (a beer would be even better) and watching well-muscled actors set off explosions and attack alien creatures with relish. I would have liked better dialogue, a more clever plot and more surprises. But I'll settle for a summer movie that doesn't make me roll my eyes and check my watch.

Austin connections: Predators was shot partially at Troublemaker Studios in Austin as well as in Central Texas locations that will not be easy to recognize. I could tell some of the scenes near water were local, but couldn't pinpoint them -- fortunately, the Austin Chronicle tells us those locations are McKinney Falls and Hamilton Pool. Producers Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellan live in Austin, and I suspect much of the crew is local too.